beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
