He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
