when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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