only you would photoshop your dick
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
