he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
