i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
