Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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