you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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