just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
