okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dignity is for republicans.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
whose parrot is this?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
