you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it glows. i had to have it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
