Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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