**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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