i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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