Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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