just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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