going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
