Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
