I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
