Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
