i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
