Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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