your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize