Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
