Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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