just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
