plz talk dirty to me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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