My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
