he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
