no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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