Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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