I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
