Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
