i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
