is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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