I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
