She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
