Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
