one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
