Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
