he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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