the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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