I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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