fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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