Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
