I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Damn victory sex feels great
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
