It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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