No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
