Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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