I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize