he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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