im about as happy as oj after his trial
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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