Tell her she can't have a vagina
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
