woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
