I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dick very happy bro
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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