It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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