do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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