Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
