im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
