...so i touched it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
