PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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