I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
