You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bring money and cleavage
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
